Jan. 5th, 2015

fairywren: (quiet the mind)
[personal profile] fairywren
Hi guys, I just wanted to ask if everyone could do the favor of putting their pronouns themselves, without modifier, along with or instead of their gender identity (ex: preferred pronouns: 'she/her', rather than 'female')with their permissions?

I understand this may seem confusing and so I wanted to explain. I don't think anyone's trying to cause harm. I myself would have used this terminology a couple years ago. Unfortunately, as a genderqueer person this hits quite close to home.

When a pronoun gets labeled 'female', or preferred pronouns are discussed via 'female', it defines the use of those pronouns a little bit, and/or what can be used.
For example, my partner is completely agender. She uses 'she/her' pronouns for ease and lack of a more descriptive pronoun. For her, these are not female pronouns, they're HER, agender pronouns.

My character, Auryn, uses 'he/him' but is genderfluid and does not identify as a cisgender male. I have a friend who use 'he or they' to describe themself - they are not male, but without presenting a binary (he or she) option they prefer, will usually get called 'she', which they don't like, and one for whom the opposite is true. None of these people are wrong to use these pronouns, so they're not female or male pronouns.

Meanwhile people who ARE female or male may not use those pronouns. I prefer they even though I'm genderfluid/demigirl, and on days I feel like a girl they is a female pronoun. Others may choose other pronouns for personal or political reasons - this doesn't invalidate their identity.

Again, I don't think anyone is ignorant or intentionally causing harm just by writing "female" or "male" and that's why I wanted to explain. I would like to gently ask that for everyone's benefit you add your actual preferred pronouns, or set, to your permissions.

If I've missed anything or this is itself hard for anyone please let me know! I'm a bit sleepy so I may have left stuff out

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